


Everything to Regain

by amateurwordbender



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, since we've got cass and varian stewing in a nice healthy dose of regret yay, warning for some strong language if that bothers you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22976302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amateurwordbender/pseuds/amateurwordbender
Summary: “So, are you here to say ‘I told you so’?”Varian looks over at her, that touch of concern back in his gaze. “Cass…”“No, no, please. Let me have it. Because you were right, you know. About everything. I lost control, and I—I completely lost myself; I hurteveryoneI cared about without thinking twice.” She’d meant for the words to come out matter-of-fact, but something cracks at the end. Traitorous voice.(after it's all over, Cassandra and Varian still have a few issues to work out)
Relationships: Cassandra & Varian (Disney: Tangled)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 263





	Everything to Regain

**Author's Note:**

> ok COME ON. they gave cass and varian a masterpiece of a song like “nothing left to lose” and then didn’t even give them a real conversation in the finale??? like don’t get me wrong the finale was so sweet and such a great conclusion but I need these two to talk
> 
> full disclosure, I haven’t seen all the episodes (since I just got into this show like. three weeks ago lmao), so apologies in advance for any inconsistencies with canon or characterization

The courtyard below is brimming with life, a stark contrast to the wasteland of destruction it was just a few hours ago. Well, that’s Corona—bouncing back after any hardship, its citizens laughing and joking and turning tragedy into a bonding moment. And how could they not, with Rapunzel leading the way? Cass can see her down below, in the thick of things, rolling up her sleeves along with everyone else to clear out the debris and make repairs, all with a radiant smile on her face. She may not be the sundrop anymore, but she still brings light to everyone around her. Cassandra, on the other hand… 

“Cass?”

She turns to see a familiar figure standing in the doorway of Rapunzel’s room. Cass is good enough at reading body language to notice the wariness etched into the lines of Varian’s stance, but the only thing that shows on his face is concern. “Oh. Hey, kid.”

“So, just… chilling in a hole in the wall, huh.” Despite any hesitancy he might be feeling—and Cass really can’t blame him—he walks towards her with a lopsided grin, almost teasing.

Cass shrugs. “It’s a pretty roomy hole.” She scoots over a little, and Varian accepts the invitation for what it is and sits down beside her. They stay that way for a bit, silently watching the people cheering and rallying around Rapunzel below. Soon, though, the bubble of guilt building in Cassandra’s chest becomes too much to ignore. She clears her throat. “So, are you here to say ‘I told you so’?”

Varian looks over at her, that touch of concern back in his gaze. “Cass…” 

“No, no, please. Let me have it. Because you were right, you know. About everything. I lost control, and I—I completely lost myself; I hurt _everyone_ I cared about without thinking twice.” She’d meant for the words to come out matter-of-fact, but something cracks at the end. Traitorous voice. 

“But it’s _okay_. It’s okay, now. You’re back, and we’re all safe, and you’re going to get back everything you lost.”

Cass snorts, the sound coming out harsher than she intended. It surprises her how grateful she is that Varian doesn’t flinch. “Only because Raps is the single most forgiving person in the world. It’s not that simple.”

Varian sighs, kicking his feet lightly over the ledge. “Oh, trust me, I know. It almost makes it harder, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Cass leans against the side of the jagged wall, tilting her head back towards the sky. It’s suddenly become really difficult to watch Rapunzel. “I almost wish she would—I mean, I know I should just be grateful that she’s giving me a hundredth chance and welcoming me back, but I want her to, I don’t know, scream at me or something. Throw me in prison for a couple years. I don’t deserve this—this blanket forgiveness.”

Varian shoots her a look. “Hey, I get it. I actually—Cass, I kidnapped and threatened her family. I was ready to put her _life_ on the line on the off chance that it could save my dad. But Rapunzel forgave it all, just like that, no questions asked.”

“At least you worked for your redemption. You don’t get it; I didn’t even make the switch on my own at the end. It wasn’t until Zhan Tiri took the moonstone and it was clear that I’d lost that I started to come around, and even then, Raps had to give me a fucking pep talk before I was ready to fight by her side.” _Also, you were just a desperate child who was abandoned by everyone you turned to_. Cass does't say the last part aloud, though. She doubts Varian would appreciate it.

“Um, objection. You think I worked for anything? You think I _earned_ Rapunzel’s pardon? When she came back, I was busy staging a full-on coup with the Saporians." Cass blinks, momentarily caught off guard. Varian nods at her expression. "Yeah. I was trying to wipe the memories of everyone in Corona, and I probably would’ve gone through with it, too, if Andrew hadn’t betrayed me,” he says darkly. “And that’s when I got _my_ pep talk.”

Cass can’t help the note of bitter laughter that escapes her. “Fine, fine. We’re both terrible people who don’t deserve Rapunzel.” She sighs, then forces herself to look Varian in the eye. He’s still watching her with that mixture of understanding and caution. He’s so much older now than when she first met him, so much wiser, so much more… worn. Oh, there’s still that same energetic, nerdy, and, though she will never admit it to him, endearing spark in him. But she can also see the pain. 

And she was the cause of a good deal of that pain.

“I’m sorry. By the way. For everything I did to you.” Once again, her voice betrays her, and the words come out barely audible, squashed by a shame she can’t shake. She literally kidnapped and drugged him. He’s so, so sharp, and he’s braver than most of the soldiers Cass has known, but he’s still just a _kid_. And she knows that she’ll never forget that flash of terror in his eyes when she trapped him in a cage and shoved him out of her fortress. She'll never forget how he looked at _her_ with fear when she used to want nothing but to protect this kid, and how she even enjoyed that fear for a vicious, vindictive moment.

“Cassie.” There’s a hint of alarm in Varian’s voice, and she startles when she realizes that her vision is swimming. She swipes away the tears before they can even think about falling. “Seriously, don’t worry about it. We’re good. Honestly, I kind of had it coming, inventing that truth serum in the first place. Plus, I’m sort of getting used to nearly falling to my death. At least you weren't the one to actually drop me,” he adds with a little shrug.

Cass shakes her head, clearing her throat to make sure her words will come out steady before she speaks. “That’s not… healthy, kid.”

Varian just scoffs. “You are not one to talk about mental stability right now.”

“Touché.” They lapse into silence, and Cassandra lets out a long breath. None of what she’s done is okay; far from it. She still can’t believe that everyone around her has somehow found it in themselves to wipe the slate clean, and it’s going to be a long while before she can do it for herself. If she ever can.

“You know what the worst part is?” she murmurs, almost to herself. Varian hums in acknowledgement anyway. “I can still feel that resentfulness inside me. Even after everything she’s done for me, and even though I really recognize how fucked up this is now, a part of me is still selfish enough to want what Rapunzel has. Even though I know that none of what happened was Rapunzel’s fault. And I even still wish my mother—I still wish Gothel loved me, even though I know she wasn’t capable of that.” Cass is definitely being too open now, but at this point, she’s honestly too tired to care. Besides, it’s kind of a relief to admit the darkest parts of her to someone else.

“I think…” Varian hesitates. Cass glances over to see him looking down at his hands, brow furrowed. “I think you’re allowed to still feel hurt. I mean, I definitely still have days when I’m—when I’m scared of being left alone again, and it makes me want to betray everyone else before they can hurt me. And I know my dad loves me, and I know he’s proud of me now, but I still have this voice in my head that is always seeking his approval, even though I already have it. I don’t know. It’s kind of pathetic,” he mutters, and Cassandra’s heart aches at the twinge of self-loathing she can hear. But then Varian takes a deep breath, and he looks up at her. “But I think it’s okay. There’s darkness in both of us, and the feelings aren’t going to go away just because our situations have changed, you know? We really—we really internalized them. We just have to work on ourselves, and make sure we don’t act on those feelings.”

Something coiled tight in Cassandra’s chest begins to loosen. She raises an eyebrow. “When did you get so smart?”

“Probably while you were busy terrorizing the kingdom.” Cass sends him a glare. “Sorry. Too soon?”

“We were _just_ talking about how shitty I feel about that, so yeah, I’d say it’s too soon.”

Varian chuckles, but he bumps her shoulder lightly in solidarity. “Really, though. It’s all going to be okay. I mean, look at them.” In the courtyard, the citizens of Corona have started singing a song, something silly about a goat-headed demon and golden hair. Raps and Eugene are dancing together, their faces alight with pure happiness. They’re going to be fine. The kingdom couldn’t possibly be in better hands. Cass swallows.

“I don’t think I can stay here.”

“What?”

“At least, not yet. I need to make amends.” She continues before Varian can protest. “I know, Rapunzel’s already forgiven me. And I also recognize that the most direct way to make amends would be to stay and do my best to do better here. But… I just can’t. I think I need to go out and figure myself out first.” Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Varian giving her a smile, warm and free of judgment.

“I think that sounds like a good idea. Where do you think you’ll go?”

“I don’t know,” Cass admits. “Wherever my destiny takes me, I guess.”

Varian shuffles in his seat. “If you’re leaving, I guess I should give you this.” She turns to see him taking out a necklace from one of his many pockets, the purple pendant gleaming in the sun.

“The Cassandrium,” Cass murmurs, a genuine smile tugging at her lips. This freakin kid.

“Yeah, I, um. I found this in your old room a while back. I was saving it, because, well, I—I guess Rapunzel wasn’t the only one who never lost hope that you could return.” He’s stammering and sheepish, but Cass can see a marked difference from when he first gave her the necklace. This time, he looks her right in the eye. And this time, he’s the one comforting her, instead of her offering support to him.

“Thanks, Varian.” She takes it from him and puts it on, the pendant resting right over where the moonstone used to be. “You know, you’ve really come a long way. You’re not that little kid desperate to impress me anymore, huh?”

“Wow. Wooow. Hey, you can’t really blame me. You were like, the most badass person I’d ever met.”

“Hold on, what do you mean by _were_?”

Varian just gives her a cheeky grin. “You’d better start getting ready for your trip.” 

Cass rolls her eyes, but she stands. He’s right; she has some plans to make and goodbyes to say if she’s going to do this. “How about you?”

“I think I’m going to sit here for a little longer.”

She nods, placing a hand briefly on his shoulder. She’s brushing off her clothes when he speaks again.

“Wait, can I give you a suggestion?”

“Sure, what?”

“Bring your dad with you. Please.” There’s something gentle in Varian’s expression. “He really misses you. And I’m sure he'd love to join you in getting to know the real you.”

Cass nods, blinking hard against the stinging in her eyes. She offers one more smile. “I’ll see you around.”

“You’d better. Don’t stay away for too long,” Varian says with a grin. 

With that, he turns around to watch the courtyard below, and Cass turns to leave, a warmth in her heart that wasn’t there when she’d entered. He’s such a good kid. A good friend.


End file.
